Have you ever watched a movie that was boring? Have you ever tried writing something and then got stuck? I’ve put some thought into this recurring problem, and I have finally figured out the solution. No matter what issue you face in a story, you only need one thing:
Yes, zombies are the ultimate cure. Why does Sally go out in the front yard so she can conveniently run into John, the love interest? Because zombies are chasing her. When will Sara get over her unending guilt about the accidental death of the child in her charge? Somewhere between running for her life and facing down the zombie intent on eating her. It has been said that to make a film, all you need is a girl and a gun. Well, zombies make it one step easier.
Here are a few examples of how a zombie could be added to the mix of some of this year’s Oscar-level films to make them a little bit more entertaining:
THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY – As the main character struggles to tell his story by blinking, zombies are attacking! His wife manages to get his last words on the page before he’s tragically mauled by zombies, who then quickly turn on the girl he was hot for who couldn’t be bothered to see him. Wife and children manage to kill all the zombies and retire on the proceeds of book.
ATONEMENT – After the main characters die, a mysterious plague infects the ground and they, along with many others killed during this time, rise again as zombies. Main characters go after the narrator of the story, saying “This is how to atone, bitch!” They eat her brains then go off and have mad zombie sex.
Have any other writing problems? I will happily apply the zombie solution to your story!